Day 31: Friendship is like a tree it’s not measured on how tall it could be but on how deep its roots have grown.

Monday, January 31, 2011

Over the weekend my roomy Bobby and I discussed our roots. Where we came and where we’ve been…Humans are like trees, we all have roots that hold memories and experiences that nobody will know about unless you tell them.

When you meet someone you plant a seed in their heart. You can care for the person and watch that seed grow into a baby tree…as time goes by the tree gets bigger and your friendship gets stronger and stronger. As that tree gets older more and more roots will form underground, these roots are formed by experience and memories you share together. Trees stay alive if you care for them and give them enough water to nourish them much like friendships. If you don’t care about your tree it will die. You can apply that same factor to friendships.

Bobby and I put our roots together in order to form an understanding friendship. He isn’t going to be my roomy forever so in honor of our friendship we decided to plant an apple tree in my backyard as a symbol of our roots coming together. He will move on and I will still be living my home. This apple tree will always be here to remember the good times we shared in the BobCat house. 

We all choose different paths in life. As we walk on the path towards our destiny we meet new people, people that will change us or people you will change. No matter where we end up we take a little piece of each other everywhere.  

Picking out the perfect tree! The grandpa and the nursery probably thought we were the weirdest kids ever! 

We ended up taking home beautiful beautiful Bev!

Bobbys truck was in the shop so Bev had to ride with the wind in her branches. 

X marks the spot! Bev's new home!

Bobby doing the dirty work

Uh O we hit CLAY!

Attempting to get Bev out of her womb...

Come on Bev push through! 

Alright now my legs are gonna have to do the dirty work...stubborn Bev!

Bev is in her new home!

Loosening Bev up so she can grow big and strong just like us!
Stinky chicken poo soil!

Mixing soil and dirt!

Covering up Bev's roots

Patting her down in place

Watering time!

All done!!! Welcome to the family Bev!

Day 30: "Understanding is a two-way street."

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Understanding is like putting puzzle pieces together.

Yesterday was a gorgeous day. My roommate Bobby and I sat outside on the patio and talked all afternoon. I don’t think we have ever talked that much about our personal lives since we moved in together. Bobby and I barely knew each other before we moved in together. 5 years ago we met each other when we both worked at Kiss FM. We remained friends and kept in touch via MySpace then Facebook. It was really random that we moved in together.

In the past 8 months of living together we have gotten to know each other’s habits and behaviors.

After 5 hours of sitting in the sun, eating pizza and chatting about life we came to a conclusion…

We all come from different paths of life. Growing up we don’t all experience the same things. Some of us have great parents, some of us lack parents, some of us grow up in homes where parents don’t teach as much as others, some of us don’t even grow up in homes. The experiences we go through mold our behaviors and personalities. Therefore, 2 people from 2 different paths of life can clash.

Bobby and I had two completely different childhoods. He lost his father at age 7 and his mother wasn’t the same after that. He basically started to take care of himself when he turned 15. Bobby did everything himself and he went through so many struggles and terrible things that I couldn’t even imagine. On the other hand, I had the perfect childhood. Two wonderful parents that taught me everything I need to know in order to succeed. I always had great parents to turn to (and still do) and they held my hand through a lot of things.

Bobby and I clashed because he didn’t do things the way that I wanted them done. I taught him my way of doing things and he taught me his way of doing things. Together we are always learning from each other. I sometimes learn something from his two sense and he might learn something from my two sense. No matter what we are always getting another perspective on life and this makes us wiser.

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
~Carl Jung

Growing up my family recycled. I am used to putting the cans in a separate bag from the trash. When Bobby moved in I would get so mad when I saw cans in the regular trash. I taught him how to recycle. Many people don’t learn the same things as you do. It’s up to you to be understanding and instead of calling them stupid for not automatically knowing how to do something…teach them.

Sadly, Bobby didn’t grow up surrounded by as much love as I did. I would always wonder why he wouldn’t talk to me about certain things or even open up to me. After he told me everything he has gone through it all clicked and made sense. We don’t understand people and get along with people because we want to think they are just like us. Be patient and help people come out of their shell without getting frustrated.

The reality of the other person is not in what he reveals to you, but in what he cannot reveal to you. Therefore, if you would understand him, listen not to what he says but rather what he does not say.
~Kahlil Gibran

It takes patience, understanding along with mutual respect in order to get along with a roommate, or any person in this world.  You can’t be quick to judge anyone because you have no idea what they have been through in their past.

To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others. 
~Tony Robbins

The BobCat home!
Bobby has turned from mysterious roommate that I barley know to a true friend. He is really like a brother to me. I trust him. No matter what I know he will always have my back. He is neat, he respects me, he respects my house, he has never done anything to hurt me, makes me laugh when I have had a bad day, he helps me with the manly duties around the house and once in a while he even brings home the cookies I and not to mention he usually lets me watch whatever I want to watch on TV (AWESOME). In just 8 months I have seen Bobby change drastically in a good way and I am so proud of him and his accomplishments! From stranger, to co-worker, to friend, to roommate, to good friend…fate brought us together and Bobby is a roomy I will never forget!

Strangers are just friends waiting to happen. 
~Rod McKuen

Bob Cat friends forever! 

Day 29: “Life, like all other games, becomes fun when one realizes that it's just a game”

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Live life fully while you're here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You're going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don't try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human.
~ Anthony Robbins

It’s good to be discipline. You can get your stuff for work done, you can finish your home work, you can go to the gym ect. But you can’t forget that there is also a need for fun. There are some people who want to reach their goals as fast as humanly possible so in order to get things done they blow off all requests from people that want to spend time with them.

There are people who become so obsessed with a goal that they forget about everything and everyone else. It’s time to relax and have some fun. If there is no deadline for your goal- don’t stress! There is no rush and if you feel like taking a break, then take a break. Life is too short to stress about the little things. Making memories and having fun with those you love is just as rewarding!

So go out and have some fun! Happy Saturday!

Live and work but do not forget to play, to have fun in life and really enjoy it.~Elleen Caddy

Day: 28 "When we allow ourselves to become vulnerable, to take chances, and to risk our pride, that is when we find our own glory."

Friday, January 28, 2011

Being vulnerable doesn't have to be threatening. Just have the courage to be sincere, open and honest. This opens the door to deeper communication all around. It creates self-empowerment and the kind of connections with others we all want in life. Speaking from the heart frees us from the secrets that burden us. These secrets are what make us sick or fearful. Speaking truth helps you get clarity on your real heart directives.
~ Sara Paddison

Growing up we are taught to be strong. When we are busy staying strong we fail to let our guard down and sometimes this prevents us from living a better life. People think being vulnerable will lead people to walk all over you and it probably will but when people refuse to wear their heart on their sleeve they prevent their real personality from shining through. Embrace vulnerability. Show your real personality, don’t carefully watch your every move and control yourself because if you hide your real personality you will never find someone who truly loves and accepts you for who you really are.

Sometimes we selectively offer a part of ourselves/personality because we think that’s the only part people will like or want to hear. Why are people so afraid of showing their true personality? There are so many people in this world but not one person can take away what makes you, YOU. And if someone doesn’t like you the way you are then it is not meant to be whether it’s a friendship or relationship.

Every genuine and vulnerable person gets hurt eventually. It’s an emotion we will all feel during our life time. During the times we hurt we must remember that the bible says "This too shall pass." 1 Corinthians 10:12 and it will…

Vulnerability is not a bad thing. If you submit yourself to other people’s strength you will show people you are going through a struggle and you open the door for others to care for you. If you put on a strong happy face and suppress the pain of your weakness there is no chance anyone can help you or care for you. 

When you are vulnerable there are some people out there that will be drawn to you. These people often help you and open up to you. Vulnerability lets people have a way into your life to influence you, to help you, to love you, to teach you and to care for you. If you don’t let your veil down you will miss the opportunity for these things to happen and you could be stuck in misery or with an unfulfilled life.

Be vulnerable, but also be smart. There are no duplicates of people in this world so just be yourself and don’t live as a copy of someone else. If you get hurt in the process just remember “This too shall pass.” Life is all about going through bad times and good times, it’s a roller coaster. You win some, you lose some and if you show everyone who you really are without attempting to hide your flaws then you are living your life with nothing to worry about. 

If people like you they will like you for who you are flaws and all. This world is full of billions of people and if someone doesn’t like you for the way you are there is bound to be another place/ group that you will fit into. Happiness comes from within and if you are afraid that someone will not accept you for who you truly are then they don’t deserve you anyway.

From an early age, we're conditioned to believe that to expose our fears, weaknesses and negative feelings at a time of confrontation is to invite trouble. The truth is just the opposite. The alchemy between vulnerability and honesty is the chemical reaction that can transform our communication.

~Sharon Ellison

Day 27: “Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength”

Thursday, January 27, 2011

In life, you will always run into that one person that is rude. Unfortunately rudeness is just a part of life.
Whether it’s a belittling comment, rolling of the eyes, attacking, a nasty look…it’s RUDE.

Yesterday I received a phone call from a telemarketer selling security systems. I waited until they were done with their spiel and then politely I said, “No thank you I am not interested because I already have one. Have a great day.” I hung up and my friend that was standing next to me said, “Wow you gave that telemarketer too much of your time you should have hung up.” …Just because we don’t see the person doesn’t mean that our rudeness won’t affect their day. Treat people the way you would want to be treated. Most telemarketers hate their job anyway. They do telemarketing just to get that paycheck in order to put food on the table. So, either ignore their call or politely say not interested don’t be rude, they are humans with feelings just like you.
Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you - not because they are nice, but because you are. 

 I've taken some low blows before but the ones that hurt the most are the ones that come from those whom you consider your closest friends. Lots of people are rude and they don’t even know they are being rude until someone calls them out. Rude people are bullies; they only try to make you feel like crap because they enjoy getting that power high.
Sometimes rudeness could just be a result of a bad day or a bad week, if someone is rude to you it’s not because of anything you did but because they are having a bad day or going through something unpleasant. I guess another explanation for rudeness is simply: misery loves company. If someone feels like crap they don’t want to see you happy so they are rude in hopes to get you feeling as crappy as them.
Some people are rude because no one ever taught them manners. Some of us were not lucky enough to have parents to teach us good etiquette and manners.  And others are just plain evil!
I remember there was a girl who was so rude to me and it was as if she just hated the world. I sat there calmly and stared at her the whole time she was going off on me. I looked at her and said “I know I am not the problem here so do you want to talk about it?” She finally broke down in tears and vented the big problem she was dealing with. Sometimes rude people just have so many emotions built up inside and they take it out on you. It’s your job to just sit there and stay calm until the storm is over then peel them layer after layer until they talk out their real problem. During these moments rude people are just trying to reach out because they have no one else to vent their problems to.
People who are purposely being rude only do it because they want to get under your skin. They are trying to unbalance you and drive you nuts. Don’t let people like this get to you. Just take a breath and step away from the situation because if you decide to go off on the person it turns into a never ending nasty dispute that accomplishes absolutely nothing but harsh words of possible regret. Sometimes people are so ignorant, stubborn and arrogant they just don’t get it and they never will so don’t waste your time or breath.
Give rude people the silent treatment if necessary. There is nothing more annoying than being ignored when you are trying to attack someone. Rude people like to feed off of drama and if you’re silent they have nothing to keep attacking you about. Take the high road, be professional and keep it clean…there is nothing worse than drama, life is hectic enough.
Lastly, we all hope that the people we surround ourselves with are genuinely good people. But if time goes by and you notice someone is constantly being rude or mean or throws low blows at you then it’s time to stray away from them. Compassionate and understanding friends are the ones to hold close to your heart, they are the ones who outweigh the bad people who cross your path in life, they are the ones you can trust and turn to for comfort.
Whoever one is, and wherever one is, one is always in the wrong if one is rude.  
~Maurice Baring

Day 26: Passion makes the world go round!

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Happy Hump Day!

Ah yes it is Wednesday and the week only gets more tiring from here. Running around with your head cut off can wear you down. I feel like the older we get the more hustle and bustle comes our way. Our lives get so hectic and we have to keep in mind that we are not the only ones that have crazy schedules. We cannot forget to be passionate people in the midst of all the chaos. This world needs passionate people to put that extra spark in people’s lives.
Only passions, great passions, can elevate the soul to great things.
~Denis Diderot

Passionate people are excited people. Give others your passion and let them feed off your energy. If people around you are passionate about something you are going to want to be passionate about something too. The energy between passionate people can be reciprocal… we feed off of each other’s good energy. So listen to your heart and find your passion and share it with the world!

Passion makes the world go round. Love just makes it a safer place.
~Ice T

This song pumps me up! 
Listen & Love!
(You can go to the bottom of this page and mute the playlist....)

Day 25: Nervousness

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

“The sad truth is that excellence makes people nervous.” ~Shana Alexander

I feel like I never used to get nervous. Or if I did I could hide it pretty well. But, ever since I broke my back and damaged my nerves all my senses are 10 times more sensitive and I get SUPER nervous over the silliest things.

Today I have a job interview and of course I am nervous!I hate being nervous and feeling sick, anxious and everything else that goes along with nervousness but I now think about it like this...

When you are nervous your awareness is heightened. You do things more carefully and you prepare yourself for what you think is ahead of you.

I notice that when I am nervous I research something so I know all about it before I show up to a place where it is talked about so I have a standing ground. Being nervous can technically make you smarter if you use it to your advantage.

Taking a deep breath can be like a reset button when you are nervous. Practicing what you are about to do and preparing yourself could ease the nervousness because you will become confident in what you are  about to do.

I think we have to accept nervousness in order to develop wisdom. If we live in the moment while being nervous we remember how the moment made us feel and with that memory we remember the experience.

Have you ever met someone who was ignoring their nervousness? They try to act confident but instead they are obnoxious. They are not living in the moment they are too busy trying to be someone that they’re not. In the end they look back and realize what an idiot they were. When you are busy trying to ignore your nervousness you aren't listening to the people around you and gaining good experience. Just learn to live in the moment.

I remember a week before my graduation I literally went to the doctor and asked him to prescribe me something that I could take on my graduation day (I am laughing so hard right now) because I get so nervous. I was so nervous I was going to fall off the stage or freeze up or trip or anything horrible like that. My doctor laughed at me and said "you know what? I get nervous too but we have to learn to live in the moment, you don’t want to be on drugs on your graduation day because you won’t be able to feel and remember the day how it was meant to be." I am SO thankful that he refused to prescribe me anything because my graduation day was the best day of my life! Everything went perfect and I would be so disappointed if I were to take any substance to calm myself. The nerves are just a part of life. 

Being nervous is natural. It makes us cautious. It makes us wise. We should all live in the moment and take our experiences for what they are meant to be and not cover them up with substances that make our thoughts and feelings go numb.  

Day 24: “A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success”

Monday, January 24, 2011

If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded. 
~Maya Angelou

From the moment we wake up we usually think about our own life and what we are going to do to better ourselves on this new day. Instead of thinking about making your own life better, think of ways to make other people’s lives better.
There is bound to be someone close to you that needs your support or encouragement. Sometimes there is a person just waiting for someone to tell them that they believe in them. Sometimes someone needs that reassurance that they are doing a great job. Sometimes someone needs to hear that they are loved and amazing. It’s the little words of encouragement and positivity that can make someone’s day and change their spirits for the better.

People that are in our lives have been put there for a reason. We are supposed to bring out the best in each other. Being kind to each other is always nice but do something more to improve someone else’s life and bring out the best in them. A simple text message or e-mail can automatically put a smile on someone’s face and lift their spirits. Be creative and let others know you care, and before you know it others will be building you up too. 


Day 23: Loyalty

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Achievement of your happiness is the only moral purpose of your life, and that happiness, not pain or mindless self-indulgence, is the proof of your moral integrity, since it is the proof and the result of your loyalty to the achievement of your values. 
~Ayn Rand 

Loyal people are honorable people. To be loyal is to stick with someone or something through the good times and the bad times. A loyal wife will stick with her husband if his financial situation goes down the drain, a loyal husband will stick with his wife if she were to get extremely sick.

Loyal people keep their word, whether it’s a promise to stay late and finish a deadline or a promise to show up for an event. Loyal people respect other people’s thoughts and feelings; they respect, honor and defend their family, friends, work and leaders…in doing so, they build trust and security in others.

Sometimes it takes putting others ahead of you to be loyal. For some that is a difficult thing to do but sometimes you have to sacrifice your life or time to be loyal. Just like a soldier, they are loyal to their country sacrificing their own life for others.

To be loyal is to deliberately invest effort, time and energy into to someone/something. But before being loyal to someone, you have to protect yourself and your heart. You must think about whatever you’re offering your loyalty to and see if it is even worth the investment. What’s the point of being loyal to someone if they treat you like dirt or show no respect? Are they worthwhile? Think about it and weigh out the benefits.  Sometimes weighing out the benefits may make you look selfish but you have to be practical.  

At work, there are many positive aspects to being a loyal employee. If you are loyal for a certain amount of time you can get rewards and bonuses. Your boss will respect you for being loyal to the company and your job will be secure.

You should only be loyal to something that will influence your life positively. Be loyal but also be balanced. Don’t put all your time and effort into something at the expense of taking time away from your loved ones or friends because in the end you might lose the personal relationships that mean the most.

True love entails loyalty. So many people forget about the most important people in their life because they put all their time and effort into work or other things. There are so many distractions in our lives that prevent us from being loyal and it’s time to put those things aside and start being faithful to the ones who love us the most. If you are loyal good things will always come back to you and if you are loyal to others they will notice. 

Day 22: Do what you have to do to get where you want to be.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.
-Theodore Roosevelt

Yesterday I went to lunch with my former supervisors from The Harlem Globetrotters office. It was the perfect ending to an excellent internship. I have been blessed to have the opportunity to intern for such an amazing company and to have met some awesome people.

We went to Brick, an urban pizza kitchen down town… very interesting place and atmosphere I must say. But we ate yummy food and had great conversation. The Vice President of Communications Brett Meister told us an awesome and inspiring story and I just had to write about it today!

Prior to working for the Globetrotters Brett worked at a basketball association that no longer exists today. The association hired a non-paid intern. This intern helped out in various departments. He was a solid dude, came into work wearing a suit, did his job and when he was finished with the work in his department he would go around to other departments and ask if they needed help. Brett worked with him sometimes and said he was a great guy. I didn't catch the name of this intern so I will go ahead and call him Jake.

After Jake’s summer internship was over he joined some of the people he worked with, including Brett, for some drinks.

Jake gathered everyone and said “You guys will never believe what I’ve been through during this internship.”

Jakes story:

For about a month during the internship Jake was homeless. Since this internship was for school credit only, he didn’t have enough money to pay for a place to live. Jakes only option was to live out of his truck.

Jake would go to his internship and after his work day was over he would go sit at a bar, sip on water and watch sports until he got tired. When Jake got tired he would go to his truck, park in a neighborhood, get in the bed of the truck (the bed had one of those protection toppers) and that’s where he would sleep. Jake had four different neighborhood spots that he would rotate every night.

In the morning he would pull his truck up to a car wash. He would put his swim trunks on and instead of washing his car he would use the hose as a shower! If anyone were to drive by Jake would pretend that he is washing his car. After his “body wash”, Jake would put his suit on and drive to his internship.

Nobody knew what Jake was going through. He came to work with a smile on his face, he was productive and also very smart.

Eventually Jake found a part time job. He made enough money so he could afford a place to live again…Jake moved into a rundown motel /apartment where he paid his rent weekly. He said he was surrounded by crack heads and drug dealers. But that’s all he could afford, that’s what he called home. He continued to go to his internship and never told anyone about his “home” life.

Jake was a trooper. He did what he had to do to get college experience and credit. The following semester he went back to school…I am guessing he received grants or student loans but I am not sure...

Jake finished school and today he is a very successful lawyer.

I LOVE this story and I am glad it has a happy ending. Once we hit rock bottom there is nowhere else to go but up. Jake was a determined individual and his circumstances never got in the way of his dreams. There will always be a solution for any obstacle we encounter. If you don’t succeed the first time, try again and keep in mind defeat may test you on your journey but do not let it stop you from getting to your destination. Persistence is key, and we need to remember that being defeated is only temporary. The greatest mistake people make is giving up and giving up is what makes defeat permanent.

You do what you have to do, to do what you want to do.
-Anand Singh